All points up until a time are saturated with mistakes. Looking back, you realize they did not have to be. That at no point, did you intentionally walk the wrong way, merely you were lead that way by circumstance. Yet, at no point was your future certain. You believe that you have arrived at the worst of places, despite not knowing a time that was less comfortable, because you have lived only your experiences, and not the darker path, should it have existed. And your mind is inclined to believe that you have arrived at the end of all things, because you have gotten used to thinking that way.
Belief is the key to our agency, as without it, we have no impetus to move.
So at this turning point in your life, if you understand inherently that the required action is for progress. To move on, to be proactive. Why then, does an inching sense of urgency have you reeling through the memories in your mind, trying to find motivation.
After all has been said and done, you are at a point you dislike. You are trying to remember freedom, because you feel as if events have trapped you. That somewhere in the past, the key to your changing is hidden. That, if penetrated, the depths of a murky timeline will reveal a lost treasure. Something, not only to remember the good times, but to cling to and reciprocate in the current moment. To find that reason for change. Because no one wants to believe the best years of their life are gone. No one wants to believe that time stole from us what we could not see. And no one wants to admit, that the past is gone, and that we may never reach the heights we could have achieved, had things gone differently.
The tricky thing, is somehow finding the hope of childhood in your every day, and salvaging from the ruin of your past a present worth living.
In these attempts, we are all equal.